the human brain can only take so much of an extreme before it appears to suffer a melt-down and the brain just snaps. today in toronto is mercifully cool. yesterday i even thought i might need a sweater as i walked outdoors in the afternoon. i am so happy to be able to snuggle into my duvet again at night - instead of flopping on the top of the sheets like some shot of a victim at a sordid murder scene.
but this summer we've been dealing with much higher than normal temperatures, many more humidex alerts and SO SO SO many pollution/smog alert days (ontario blames the industry of the midwest/detriot/america & america blames us for our emissions... talk about uneasy neighbours). and the heat has gotten to folk here. on monday there were a series of murders, shootings and attacks in toronto. most (if not all of them) had the police saying, "the victim was known to police" - which is, of course, code for 'gang related activity'. the problem is that there are some very strong and very powerful gangs in the area and while they generally keep the killings among themselves - sometimes innocent bystanders get caught in the middle. and these gangs have witnesses so scared to come forward to the police - the result being that these thugs stay out on the streets to work their own justice in their own little ways. it's almost as though they are above the law. they have their own world that the police have a hard time touching. it's a real problem.
and in the heat of summer there are delays on the subway due to the sad message : "there is a delay at the *insert name* station due to a personal injury at track level. emergency crews are on site and we apologize for the delay". so many people decide to kill themselves via speeding subway train.
and it's not just confined to heat. i remember one december several years ago where nearly twice a week there were delays of that sort. and you know it's a jumper because then for the rest of the day the trains slow down and brake several times as they enter a station. it's a strange energy indeed.
so - now that the heat has subsided a little - maybe my crazed little city can calm down and take a collective breath and people can stop killing each other and jumping in front of subway trains. we can get back to just ignoring one another.
on a completely different note - i am going away to a family wedding this august. going to saskatoon of all freaking places. and that's fine. but the thing that really sucks is that i'm going to miss a toronto david usher date. it's a free show for contest winners and some kind soul actually offered me a ticket. but i can't go. grrrrrrr. oh well. there better be plenty of red wine at my table!
and i am so giddily addicted to rock star : inxs. it's true. i am able to admit i get excited each week for the show. it has everything : music, bad outfits, outta control ego, dave navarro leering at all the girls and inxs songs.
i am very happy with the removal of heather and daphna. they both sucked in so many ways. and heather seemed pissed off at the band. i think they might of kept her around if she wasn't so bitchy to them. wrong sort of attitude, lamb.
and is it just me - or is mig getting better and better? and marty? seriously? to me, he's boring and bland and safe and seems terribly unoriginal. but maybe, just maybe that's what inxs want. they know they'll never get another michael - so now they just want something watered down and boringly-friendly.
[music | nine inch nails, "only"]
7.28.2005
7.25.2005
on being a god...
so after many days of little to no posting activity i am back... i stopped posting for a few days because i've been having a string of pretty shitty luck. on friday i started a post that recounted a seriously nearly unbelievable series of events that happened to me - but didn't want this place to turn into me complaining about my own stupidity/black star of doom over and over and over again! (it's really funny, it involves a downpour of rain, a light blue t-shirt, no cash, no debit card, a raging caffeine headache, a yoga mat and messed up transit delays)
onward... my roommate got a computer game last week. this computer game is so freaking addictive - i'm beginning to think i have a problem! several years ago i was a game junkie - i play two main games :
civilization (take over the world - how can you NOT want to play) and
the sims (it's like being a deity - so cool)
but a few years ago i kicked the habit & stopped playing those games. they are such a time suck and so counter productive to getting ANYTHING done, not the least of which is going out and actually living your own life with real people. but this new sims game my will power is gone! between having bad luck, finishing harry potter and this game, i've had no time to do anything else....
must go feed the fish tonight, else they might pack their little bags and leave my pond!
[music | tori amos, "precious things"]
onward... my roommate got a computer game last week. this computer game is so freaking addictive - i'm beginning to think i have a problem! several years ago i was a game junkie - i play two main games :
civilization (take over the world - how can you NOT want to play) and
the sims (it's like being a deity - so cool)
but a few years ago i kicked the habit & stopped playing those games. they are such a time suck and so counter productive to getting ANYTHING done, not the least of which is going out and actually living your own life with real people. but this new sims game my will power is gone! between having bad luck, finishing harry potter and this game, i've had no time to do anything else....
must go feed the fish tonight, else they might pack their little bags and leave my pond!
[music | tori amos, "precious things"]
7.23.2005
i've always had my suspicions....
and there were small signs building up over the years - but it was finally confirmed "officially".... canada has won the "dumbest government" award!
the awards were handed out in montreal & they were voted on worldwide by internet users... heehee...
this is my favourite part of the article :
U.S. President George W. Bush may not have led the dumbest government, but he was honoured with the award for the Stupidest Statement of the Year after telling a news conference: "They never stop thinking of ways of harming America, and neither do we."
[music | the killers, "somebody told me"]
the awards were handed out in montreal & they were voted on worldwide by internet users... heehee...
this is my favourite part of the article :
U.S. President George W. Bush may not have led the dumbest government, but he was honoured with the award for the Stupidest Statement of the Year after telling a news conference: "They never stop thinking of ways of harming America, and neither do we."
[music | the killers, "somebody told me"]
7.20.2005
all the world's a stage...
and i'm it's freakin' tragic clown....
question time : what's a bad thing to do on a warm day?
my answer : (so many answers for this one, but what comes to mind right now is) finely dice an especially hot and juicy jalapeno pepper & let it make contact with your hands.
second question : what's a REALLY stupidly bad thing to do on a warm day....
my answer : oh, how about slice and dice that spicy little pepper without wearing gloves & slip with your sharpest knife and slice about half a centimetre into your index finger. holy fucking ouch.
so, instinctively, what's the first thing you do when you've got a gusher on your finger - well, for some bizarre reason, the first thing we do is shove that finger into our mouth (there's a little vampire in us all). normally - that's ok - i mean, even though i'm veggie, i like the irony taste of my own blood. but try mingling that with jalapeno pepper... my tongue and lips began burning. the cut on my finger was burning. it was all just burning... if the neighbour was looking in through my kitchen window she must of wondered what the hell was wrong with me as i hopped like a mexican jumping bean in front of the sink waiting for the water to get cool enough to put my firey fingers in its stream.
it's hours and hours later and i'm typing without the aid of the pointer finger on my left hand - this is taking a while... and my cut finger is burning and throbbing. damn peppers! actually all of my fingers are burning right now - the heat of the night is developing the feeling quite nicely, thank you. i want to head for the nearest indian restaurant and stick my hands in the buffet's cucumber yoghurt... but i will refrain. that's just icky.
i was making a black bean salsa for a little get together tonight.... the salsa ended up being great (if i do say so myself) the get together was nice and i do love the light of a full moon.
as i type away at this entry, i have rock star : inxs on in the background. tonight is the night someone gets kicked off the show and as part of this process the singers who get the lowest votes from the audience need to sing an inxs song. it's amazing. the house band is absolutely amazing. probably made up of some of LA's top session guys - but hearing them play inxs songs... it never ceases to amaze me that there is always that certain something that makes a band sound like a certain band. as great as these session guys are, they're not inxs.
question time : what's a bad thing to do on a warm day?
my answer : (so many answers for this one, but what comes to mind right now is) finely dice an especially hot and juicy jalapeno pepper & let it make contact with your hands.
second question : what's a REALLY stupidly bad thing to do on a warm day....
my answer : oh, how about slice and dice that spicy little pepper without wearing gloves & slip with your sharpest knife and slice about half a centimetre into your index finger. holy fucking ouch.
so, instinctively, what's the first thing you do when you've got a gusher on your finger - well, for some bizarre reason, the first thing we do is shove that finger into our mouth (there's a little vampire in us all). normally - that's ok - i mean, even though i'm veggie, i like the irony taste of my own blood. but try mingling that with jalapeno pepper... my tongue and lips began burning. the cut on my finger was burning. it was all just burning... if the neighbour was looking in through my kitchen window she must of wondered what the hell was wrong with me as i hopped like a mexican jumping bean in front of the sink waiting for the water to get cool enough to put my firey fingers in its stream.
it's hours and hours later and i'm typing without the aid of the pointer finger on my left hand - this is taking a while... and my cut finger is burning and throbbing. damn peppers! actually all of my fingers are burning right now - the heat of the night is developing the feeling quite nicely, thank you. i want to head for the nearest indian restaurant and stick my hands in the buffet's cucumber yoghurt... but i will refrain. that's just icky.
i was making a black bean salsa for a little get together tonight.... the salsa ended up being great (if i do say so myself) the get together was nice and i do love the light of a full moon.
as i type away at this entry, i have rock star : inxs on in the background. tonight is the night someone gets kicked off the show and as part of this process the singers who get the lowest votes from the audience need to sing an inxs song. it's amazing. the house band is absolutely amazing. probably made up of some of LA's top session guys - but hearing them play inxs songs... it never ceases to amaze me that there is always that certain something that makes a band sound like a certain band. as great as these session guys are, they're not inxs.
7.19.2005
all the data entry has fried my brain.....
*sigh*
so in my current situation which finds me with a paucity of gainful employ, i have taken on some admin/organizational/bookkeeping work for a record producer. he's a nice guy with a lot of work - but being one of those 'creative types', he has absolutely ZERO ability to keep himself organized in any sort of civilized manner....
he has also hired some business managers to handle all of his financial stuff & i'm working with them to get the past 2 years ready for the tax man....
and i have lost the forest for the trees... currently i think i am logging and catagorizing the types of trees and how many holes their leaves have and how many branches they have... i have lost the shining path in all of these bloody receipts. and quickbooks is a real bastard. me thinks me hates quickbooks....
the memorable buffy quote "fire burn, tree pretty" kinda describes my current state of brain.
so, as a remedy - i thusly present :
scarlet verbena, pansies and mexican heather in my front pot
very pretty day lily - have about a million of these
my very overgrown arbour - it's nice to sit in there! if you don't mind spiders...
gorgeous african dasies
unidentifed pretty purple flowering plants... i have a group of about 40 of them - they smell very nice!
so in my current situation which finds me with a paucity of gainful employ, i have taken on some admin/organizational/bookkeeping work for a record producer. he's a nice guy with a lot of work - but being one of those 'creative types', he has absolutely ZERO ability to keep himself organized in any sort of civilized manner....
he has also hired some business managers to handle all of his financial stuff & i'm working with them to get the past 2 years ready for the tax man....
and i have lost the forest for the trees... currently i think i am logging and catagorizing the types of trees and how many holes their leaves have and how many branches they have... i have lost the shining path in all of these bloody receipts. and quickbooks is a real bastard. me thinks me hates quickbooks....
the memorable buffy quote "fire burn, tree pretty" kinda describes my current state of brain.
so, as a remedy - i thusly present :
pictures from my garden
scarlet verbena, pansies and mexican heather in my front pot
very pretty day lily - have about a million of these
my very overgrown arbour - it's nice to sit in there! if you don't mind spiders...
gorgeous african dasies
unidentifed pretty purple flowering plants... i have a group of about 40 of them - they smell very nice![music | david usher, "forestfire"]
and more pictures.....
from earlier this spring - lovely lilacs - my favourite flower
not a great shot - but it shows a giant hosta & some sad little nasturciums in front of it
ooh, ahh - a collage!
this one is for you johnny newt.... it shows the extent of my artistic capabilites... that's why folk like you need to keep on keepin' on! 
one end of my fishpond (lovely algae, huh?) in the top of the picture you can see a little dark shadow - that's my black moor... i call him 'jaws'7.18.2005
i'm a new mummy.....
this is so freakin' cute.... click on him, move your mouse around, turn your volume up, say awwwwwww!
[music | david usher, "long goodbye"]
| adopt your own virtual pet! |
[music | david usher, "long goodbye"]
7.17.2005
morfin was sitting in a filthy armchair.... page 193
just thought i'd surface from my harry potter book long enough to post this kinda cute link to a "write your own chapter" thing. (pick tom cruise and scientology when you have the chance!)
last night at about 4:40am-ish i woke up to the sound of much rain pouring down and running down the streets. it's about time... my front lawn looked like an army of great danes had been pissing on it all summer. now it still looks ravaged by doggie piss - but the clover has rebounded nicely & there are little green weed spots. oh well. it's a rental!
as i was listening to the rain, i swore i also saw some lightning. i started to fuzzily wonder if i should move my fan away from the window area. my room is on the 3rd floor of the house & it would just be something for the lightening to come zipping in my window seeking the electrical current of the fan. you see, my dad was struck by lightening a few years ago. he's a farmer - so it's really not that uncommon... all that time spent by great hulking pieces of machinery in open fields.
how did it happen? he was kneeling on some straw and mud (which probably saved his life) trying to fix a broken piece of equipment. he saw the storm clouds and lightening in the distance and kept working, thinking that he'd probably have to call it a day. then he said the next thing he knew he woke up and he was laying on the ground. he idly wondered if he'd been struck by lightening. he got up in a bit of a daze, got in his truck and drove to the house - which wasn't far away. my mom said he came in, said he was struck by lightening (to which she laughed because it sounded so strange) and said he didn't feel well and went to go to sleep.
he woke up in the middle of the night and felt that his heart was beating at a crazy rhythm in his chest. without waking up my mom, he got in the car and drove himself to the hospital (are you starting to see where i get my stubborn, bullheaded and independent streak from?) he was admitted immediately and when they hooked him up to those little machines, his heart beat was not doing good things. speeding up, slowing down, that sort of thing.
after a few hours he seemed to stabilize and the doctors sent him home. they were able to confirm that it was a lightening strike and not some other cardiac event because they found "exit points" on the tips of two of his fingers. seems that when the current enters your body it needs to also leave. usually strike victims can locate both entry and exit points.
my dad is just fine & the doctors told him he was quite lucky to have survived. the only lasting effects he has suffered is a significant reduction in short-term memory. we all tease him it's just because he's getting older - but he has gone from a person who could keep the most minute details about his business up in his brain to a guy who needs to carry around a note pad to make a list to remind himself of things he needs to do that day. i shouldn't laugh - i need one of those lists myself!
so - even though my sleep/heat addled brain thought i should turn off my fan "just in case" - i decided 'fuck that!' and threw caution to the skies. no way in hell was i turning off my fan. and if lightening rod tendencies run in the family - well, so be it....
[music | chris koster, "wartime romance"]
last night at about 4:40am-ish i woke up to the sound of much rain pouring down and running down the streets. it's about time... my front lawn looked like an army of great danes had been pissing on it all summer. now it still looks ravaged by doggie piss - but the clover has rebounded nicely & there are little green weed spots. oh well. it's a rental!
as i was listening to the rain, i swore i also saw some lightning. i started to fuzzily wonder if i should move my fan away from the window area. my room is on the 3rd floor of the house & it would just be something for the lightening to come zipping in my window seeking the electrical current of the fan. you see, my dad was struck by lightening a few years ago. he's a farmer - so it's really not that uncommon... all that time spent by great hulking pieces of machinery in open fields.
how did it happen? he was kneeling on some straw and mud (which probably saved his life) trying to fix a broken piece of equipment. he saw the storm clouds and lightening in the distance and kept working, thinking that he'd probably have to call it a day. then he said the next thing he knew he woke up and he was laying on the ground. he idly wondered if he'd been struck by lightening. he got up in a bit of a daze, got in his truck and drove to the house - which wasn't far away. my mom said he came in, said he was struck by lightening (to which she laughed because it sounded so strange) and said he didn't feel well and went to go to sleep.
he woke up in the middle of the night and felt that his heart was beating at a crazy rhythm in his chest. without waking up my mom, he got in the car and drove himself to the hospital (are you starting to see where i get my stubborn, bullheaded and independent streak from?) he was admitted immediately and when they hooked him up to those little machines, his heart beat was not doing good things. speeding up, slowing down, that sort of thing.
after a few hours he seemed to stabilize and the doctors sent him home. they were able to confirm that it was a lightening strike and not some other cardiac event because they found "exit points" on the tips of two of his fingers. seems that when the current enters your body it needs to also leave. usually strike victims can locate both entry and exit points.
my dad is just fine & the doctors told him he was quite lucky to have survived. the only lasting effects he has suffered is a significant reduction in short-term memory. we all tease him it's just because he's getting older - but he has gone from a person who could keep the most minute details about his business up in his brain to a guy who needs to carry around a note pad to make a list to remind himself of things he needs to do that day. i shouldn't laugh - i need one of those lists myself!
so - even though my sleep/heat addled brain thought i should turn off my fan "just in case" - i decided 'fuck that!' and threw caution to the skies. no way in hell was i turning off my fan. and if lightening rod tendencies run in the family - well, so be it....
[music | chris koster, "wartime romance"]
7.16.2005
presenting...the latest star of korean television
and that would be me. or at least me and my entire yoga class on friday. i arrive to the studio and am told that a tv crew is coming to tape the class and as compensation, we all get a complimentary class coupon. ok - fine... i wanted my class and wasn't going to leave.
we're halfway through our class and the crew comes in - a guy and a girl with handheld cameras and a woman in some fancy gauzy clothes. the fancy woman hops on her mat and begins getting into poses with us. the crew tapes her and the instructor and the class at random. however, i end up getting in most of the shots as the woman they're taping set-up her mat at a right angle to mine. i particularly loved it when we did a forward balancing pose (one of the warrior poses) and my body moved right in front of the camera.... Just lovely... so, if you're ever watching korean television and a lo-fi yoga show comes on and you see a woman with a green tank top getting in the way of a gauzy fancy lady - well - that's me!
after that i had lunch with judy and karola and caught up on the latest goings-ons at their office. i must say, it sucks to be unemployed - but it's better than working there and dealing with the clown-car style of management that seems to pervade..... then i went shopping and bought a pair of pants on major sale at the bay and a pair of amazing franco sartos - (60% off! and in basic black). why am i shopping when i am not working? well, how 'bout because i haven't bought clothes or shoes in over a year and how 'bout because my shoes are falling apart and many of my clothes seem to be looking a little ragged... *sigh* so tragic for a taurus to feel shabby.... must remedy....
and then - the whole reason for getting up on friday happened.... i went to go see that little depp/burton flick about chocolate.
if you're thinking the trailers looked too corny and cheesy - forget them and go see it!! i can't remember the last time i honestly laughed out loud at a theatre. this movie is just so colourful and beautiful and johnny depp's willie wonka is so sublime. i am so looking forward to seeing it again... i'm offering myself as a movie-date to anyone who wants to go see this thing... so so so good.
granted - i never was able to watch the original gene wilder film - ever. you see, i can not stand gene wilder. when i see him, i get the same bad freakies that i do when i see sean desman or dennis quaid or pictures of conjoined twins.... i've always wanted to watch young frankenstein - but it also is a movie i am unable to sit through.... damn you gene wilder!
and then leaving the showing i ran into frank and cynthia and their wee maeve. last time i saw maeve, she was just over 1 year old... she's now 7 and adorable and bright. not to mention she loved me immediately. she was holding my hand as we walked on the street and she wanted me to come home with her and her mum.... so so sweet. while we were walking frank told maeve that i was the 2nd visitor she ever had... i went to the hospital after work the day she was born and saw this beautiful little red-haired baby... and it turns out the stuffed animal i gave her as a baby gift is still one of her favourite toys...
now today i sit in front of my fan waiting for the postman to ring twice... or even just once. i ordered the harry potter book online eons ago (40% off, doncha know) & chapters is having it delivered today. really... i had better things to do today, but now i'm just waiting for my book! i need a break from the mongol hoardes and this will do the trick.
also - this is the cutest thing you will see all day! it won an award in this past years european advertising awards. we will rock you, indeed!
[music | david usher, "see you fall"]
we're halfway through our class and the crew comes in - a guy and a girl with handheld cameras and a woman in some fancy gauzy clothes. the fancy woman hops on her mat and begins getting into poses with us. the crew tapes her and the instructor and the class at random. however, i end up getting in most of the shots as the woman they're taping set-up her mat at a right angle to mine. i particularly loved it when we did a forward balancing pose (one of the warrior poses) and my body moved right in front of the camera.... Just lovely... so, if you're ever watching korean television and a lo-fi yoga show comes on and you see a woman with a green tank top getting in the way of a gauzy fancy lady - well - that's me!
after that i had lunch with judy and karola and caught up on the latest goings-ons at their office. i must say, it sucks to be unemployed - but it's better than working there and dealing with the clown-car style of management that seems to pervade..... then i went shopping and bought a pair of pants on major sale at the bay and a pair of amazing franco sartos - (60% off! and in basic black). why am i shopping when i am not working? well, how 'bout because i haven't bought clothes or shoes in over a year and how 'bout because my shoes are falling apart and many of my clothes seem to be looking a little ragged... *sigh* so tragic for a taurus to feel shabby.... must remedy....
and then - the whole reason for getting up on friday happened.... i went to go see that little depp/burton flick about chocolate.
if you're thinking the trailers looked too corny and cheesy - forget them and go see it!! i can't remember the last time i honestly laughed out loud at a theatre. this movie is just so colourful and beautiful and johnny depp's willie wonka is so sublime. i am so looking forward to seeing it again... i'm offering myself as a movie-date to anyone who wants to go see this thing... so so so good.
granted - i never was able to watch the original gene wilder film - ever. you see, i can not stand gene wilder. when i see him, i get the same bad freakies that i do when i see sean desman or dennis quaid or pictures of conjoined twins.... i've always wanted to watch young frankenstein - but it also is a movie i am unable to sit through.... damn you gene wilder!
and then leaving the showing i ran into frank and cynthia and their wee maeve. last time i saw maeve, she was just over 1 year old... she's now 7 and adorable and bright. not to mention she loved me immediately. she was holding my hand as we walked on the street and she wanted me to come home with her and her mum.... so so sweet. while we were walking frank told maeve that i was the 2nd visitor she ever had... i went to the hospital after work the day she was born and saw this beautiful little red-haired baby... and it turns out the stuffed animal i gave her as a baby gift is still one of her favourite toys...
now today i sit in front of my fan waiting for the postman to ring twice... or even just once. i ordered the harry potter book online eons ago (40% off, doncha know) & chapters is having it delivered today. really... i had better things to do today, but now i'm just waiting for my book! i need a break from the mongol hoardes and this will do the trick.
also - this is the cutest thing you will see all day! it won an award in this past years european advertising awards. we will rock you, indeed!
[music | david usher, "see you fall"]
7.15.2005
gin
too tired to post today.... i think i'll have some gin and wink and mint leaves.... ahhhhh.....
i did accomplish one thing on the ole blog today - i added code for the moon phases... look down, look way down....
[music | tori amos, "northern lad"]
7.14.2005
for days when your brain feels mooshy....
in my ever growing search for interesting blogs i have recently stumbled upon the sub-genre of waiterboy blogs... fascinating stuff!
waiter rant is a great site full of first-hand stories along with some pretty nifty tips for the non-waiters of the world....
and then there's bitter waitress. while not truly a blog (well, actually, it's not one at all) it has some bitchy little stories about tipping styles and good manners submitted by waiters about musicians, actors and politicians and the like. i've just linked you straight to the gossip page because, well, it's nasty!
and general pop culture sites that i just can't seem to get enough of (i know, i'm going to hell or hades, or somewhere not nice) :
i think EVERYONE knows about this site - but it's most certainly the best of the best. so snippy!
someone sent me this one when the entire world was obsessed with the latest antics of tomkat...
and the fine folk at the american mass appeal magazine entertainment weekly have started a popwatch blog.... the whitney vs. paula post is particularily funny. i like them even though they are owned by the unstoppable juggernaut, time warner.
then there is always the sometimes spotty - sometimes really nasty and sometimes cringe inducing appeal of oh, no they didn't.
and while not a blog - here is a weird weird johnny depp item on ebay. (via popbitch) really, what are people thinking? *can't wait for charlie and the chocolate factory tomorrow*
[music | nine inch nails, "heresy"]
waiter rant is a great site full of first-hand stories along with some pretty nifty tips for the non-waiters of the world....
and then there's bitter waitress. while not truly a blog (well, actually, it's not one at all) it has some bitchy little stories about tipping styles and good manners submitted by waiters about musicians, actors and politicians and the like. i've just linked you straight to the gossip page because, well, it's nasty!
and general pop culture sites that i just can't seem to get enough of (i know, i'm going to hell or hades, or somewhere not nice) :
i think EVERYONE knows about this site - but it's most certainly the best of the best. so snippy!
someone sent me this one when the entire world was obsessed with the latest antics of tomkat...
and the fine folk at the american mass appeal magazine entertainment weekly have started a popwatch blog.... the whitney vs. paula post is particularily funny. i like them even though they are owned by the unstoppable juggernaut, time warner.
then there is always the sometimes spotty - sometimes really nasty and sometimes cringe inducing appeal of oh, no they didn't.
and while not a blog - here is a weird weird johnny depp item on ebay. (via popbitch) really, what are people thinking? *can't wait for charlie and the chocolate factory tomorrow*
[music | nine inch nails, "heresy"]
7.13.2005
you know it's hot when....
so, not to go on and on and on and on about the freakin' heat...but man..... look how hot it is in my apartment. my poor cats haven't been social in days and pretty much the only time i get to see them is when i go pee! poor things.
nesley, the toilet and raja.... pardon the inclusion of the o-so-glam toilet brush
i stood out in my yard this afternoon to take some garden shots and just the act of standing there made me a dripping sweaty mess. urgh.
it's the kind of heat where your skin feels like it's constantly stinging and your face feels tight with the remnants of perspiration that has long since evaporated. sounds super sexy - don't it? ;-P
after yoga today i broke down and went to a movie. despite the good advice left for me in my comments. i decided that as glorious as guinness would taste, the purchase of a few hours of a/c was more beneficial at this point. i have a problem though. i have this tendency to become instantly ravenous and sleepy upon entering an air conditioned space. seems that i've been existing basically on jello, freezies, cherries, blueberries and rice and chickpeas. it's just too hot to eat anything else. so once i hit the a/c - my gods, do i ever realize how hungry i am. and the sleepy thing - well, let's just say that if i nodded off in the middle of batman begins, probably a big reason was because i'm not getting a good night's rest - but probably just as big of a reason is because i got bored when bruce returned to gotham. i know, i know - i was warned. however, i did love all the bats - i have always loved them, enough to have inked one on my body more than a decade ago (my how time flies!)
so if you're in toronto - do what you can to stay cool and stay hydrated.
[music | blondie, "atomic"]
nesley, the toilet and raja.... pardon the inclusion of the o-so-glam toilet brush
i stood out in my yard this afternoon to take some garden shots and just the act of standing there made me a dripping sweaty mess. urgh.
it's the kind of heat where your skin feels like it's constantly stinging and your face feels tight with the remnants of perspiration that has long since evaporated. sounds super sexy - don't it? ;-P
after yoga today i broke down and went to a movie. despite the good advice left for me in my comments. i decided that as glorious as guinness would taste, the purchase of a few hours of a/c was more beneficial at this point. i have a problem though. i have this tendency to become instantly ravenous and sleepy upon entering an air conditioned space. seems that i've been existing basically on jello, freezies, cherries, blueberries and rice and chickpeas. it's just too hot to eat anything else. so once i hit the a/c - my gods, do i ever realize how hungry i am. and the sleepy thing - well, let's just say that if i nodded off in the middle of batman begins, probably a big reason was because i'm not getting a good night's rest - but probably just as big of a reason is because i got bored when bruce returned to gotham. i know, i know - i was warned. however, i did love all the bats - i have always loved them, enough to have inked one on my body more than a decade ago (my how time flies!)
so if you're in toronto - do what you can to stay cool and stay hydrated.
[music | blondie, "atomic"]
7.12.2005
rock star : inxs review
ok folks - if you're not interested in this show - just skip this entry! since i think i will be making a point of watching this show this summer, i might as well offer comments. for no real reason other than just killing time, actually!
last night was the intro show and the first performances. someone was booted off the show by inxs. tonight was a live performance show again. the 3 lowest vote getters will have to perform an inxs song in front of the band and then inxs will send someone home. interesting.
before i do a rundown of the performers - can i just say that the backing band is amazing? holy holy. take them and ditch the singers!
anyway - for good or for bad, here are my comments :
heather - want somebody to love
wow. vocals were strong but wavered just before she pulled it out in the end. good presence
marty - take me out
kinda boring... bit of a one trick pony as far as i am concerned. wanted it to be over after a bit
daphna - people are strange
one of my fave songs. after yesterday i thought she was a leading contender - but tonight she was... well... strange... and not in a good way.
suzie - call me
oh - please let her be gone after tonight. after she caterwauled through this great song i started to think this show might suck after all. she really needs to go, especially since i found out she's worked with that crackpot alan frew before. heehee.
marty - hard to handle
urgh. karaoke anyone?
jordis - heart shaped box
this could be the new voice of inxs...
mig - all day and all of the night
good voice, ok moves, nice eyes - he looks like a younger version of willem defoe...
deanna - should i stay or should i go
kind of reminds me of a lindsay lohan or hilary duff - someone who is playing the roll of a singer...
will - right here right now
hate him. isn't creed looking for a singerboy? i think he took a wrong turn at the american idol auditions. go home.
jessica - i want you to want me
first performer to interact with the band. very very good.
tara - take it easy
i really wanted her to do well - but this sucked. she probably also drew the worst song. she seems like a seedy roadside trucker bar singer. not the singer for inxs.
neil - fortunate son
for the love of the gods - put your shirt back on, jack skellington. performance only so so. vocals a little nasally.
ty - heartbreaker
this guy has so much going for him. i think it will end up being between him and jordis.
jd - california dreaming
i think i liked it.... but i'm not certain...
last night was the intro show and the first performances. someone was booted off the show by inxs. tonight was a live performance show again. the 3 lowest vote getters will have to perform an inxs song in front of the band and then inxs will send someone home. interesting.
before i do a rundown of the performers - can i just say that the backing band is amazing? holy holy. take them and ditch the singers!
anyway - for good or for bad, here are my comments :
heather - want somebody to love
wow. vocals were strong but wavered just before she pulled it out in the end. good presence
marty - take me out
kinda boring... bit of a one trick pony as far as i am concerned. wanted it to be over after a bit
daphna - people are strange
one of my fave songs. after yesterday i thought she was a leading contender - but tonight she was... well... strange... and not in a good way.
suzie - call me
oh - please let her be gone after tonight. after she caterwauled through this great song i started to think this show might suck after all. she really needs to go, especially since i found out she's worked with that crackpot alan frew before. heehee.
marty - hard to handle
urgh. karaoke anyone?
jordis - heart shaped box
this could be the new voice of inxs...
mig - all day and all of the night
good voice, ok moves, nice eyes - he looks like a younger version of willem defoe...
deanna - should i stay or should i go
kind of reminds me of a lindsay lohan or hilary duff - someone who is playing the roll of a singer...
will - right here right now
hate him. isn't creed looking for a singerboy? i think he took a wrong turn at the american idol auditions. go home.
jessica - i want you to want me
first performer to interact with the band. very very good.
tara - take it easy
i really wanted her to do well - but this sucked. she probably also drew the worst song. she seems like a seedy roadside trucker bar singer. not the singer for inxs.
neil - fortunate son
for the love of the gods - put your shirt back on, jack skellington. performance only so so. vocals a little nasally.
ty - heartbreaker
this guy has so much going for him. i think it will end up being between him and jordis.
jd - california dreaming
i think i liked it.... but i'm not certain...
don't look now, your potter is leaking...
a store in british columbia 'accidentally' sold 14 copies of the new harry potter book earlier this week. seems they had it in the store room and some over zealous (or snoozing) employee took the liberty of putting it out on the shelf. of course the store removed the copies as soon as the mistake was realized - but not before 14 copies were sold.
a judge has ordered the lucky buyers to not talk about anything they may have read, has ordered the return of the books to the distributor (they'll get them back on saturday when they officially go on sale) and as a 'thank you' the publisher will give them a jk rowling signature.
uhh - sorry - but since when were release dates of albums and books the domain of our justice system??? i have spent many many years working in both music and in copyright - but c'mon folks... what sort of infringement is this? an infringement on the right to market something to the gills? i think the worse that should happen is that the employee at the store who shelved the copies gets a reprimand for not listening. the clerks who sold the copies should get a stern talking to. and the publisher should contact the buyers and request them not to talk about what they've read and as a guesture - offer them free goodies. sheesh.
[music | hot hot heat, "bandages"]
a judge has ordered the lucky buyers to not talk about anything they may have read, has ordered the return of the books to the distributor (they'll get them back on saturday when they officially go on sale) and as a 'thank you' the publisher will give them a jk rowling signature.
uhh - sorry - but since when were release dates of albums and books the domain of our justice system??? i have spent many many years working in both music and in copyright - but c'mon folks... what sort of infringement is this? an infringement on the right to market something to the gills? i think the worse that should happen is that the employee at the store who shelved the copies gets a reprimand for not listening. the clerks who sold the copies should get a stern talking to. and the publisher should contact the buyers and request them not to talk about what they've read and as a guesture - offer them free goodies. sheesh.
[music | hot hot heat, "bandages"]
and i can also despise this adopted city of mine
are they kidding? a humidex of 45C? :( i am going to melt today. i woke up and was going to get ready to go to either the gym or to yoga but then when i heard the forecast i got pouty and decided it was too hot to go to either (when really, there's NO reason to think that). now i am trying to pick out what movie(s) i will go see this afternoon.
i saw dark water last week and i really was happily creeped out by it. very well acted, great child actor, creepily fabulous story that verged back and forth from domestic horrors (bad plumbing) to personal horror (abandonment and relationship issues abound) and then just good old ghostly horror(can't tell you that bit!). the best thing about the film is that it didn't resort to any cheap scare tactics... there were no oogie boogies falling out of the ceiling or walls. there were no no deep and growly voices from the taps... just a good story. also, the ending didn't sell you out. and that's all i'll say about that.
i still haven't seen the final star wars. i really should see the stupid thing in the theatre, shouldn't i? i might go see war of the worlds - we haven't had any crazed tomkat stories for a little while - i may be able to separate enough from that to get into the film. and then there's always christian bale in batman begins - but there again is the specter of tomkat looming overhead.
[music | esthero, "everyday is a holiday with you"]
i saw dark water last week and i really was happily creeped out by it. very well acted, great child actor, creepily fabulous story that verged back and forth from domestic horrors (bad plumbing) to personal horror (abandonment and relationship issues abound) and then just good old ghostly horror(can't tell you that bit!). the best thing about the film is that it didn't resort to any cheap scare tactics... there were no oogie boogies falling out of the ceiling or walls. there were no no deep and growly voices from the taps... just a good story. also, the ending didn't sell you out. and that's all i'll say about that.
i still haven't seen the final star wars. i really should see the stupid thing in the theatre, shouldn't i? i might go see war of the worlds - we haven't had any crazed tomkat stories for a little while - i may be able to separate enough from that to get into the film. and then there's always christian bale in batman begins - but there again is the specter of tomkat looming overhead.
[music | esthero, "everyday is a holiday with you"]
7.11.2005
i adore this adopted city of mine
in an effort to bring myself nearer to the surface of my pool of solitude i have begun a half-assed "let's get out there and mingle!" campaign. i have made plans for lunch this friday with some lovely folk that i used to work with, i have plans for a picnic lunch the following saturday with another group of lovely people that i used to work with (how fun! a picnic in a park - i'm oddly very very excited about this) and i went out with a dear dear friend this afternoon/evening.
we made the best of the soaring humidex by choosing to wander queen west and pop into places in order to take of their air conditioning and the occasional beer (i'm basically only a guinness gurl - but shanghai cowgirl had a lovely dark irony stout with an oh-so-delectable creamy head). we walked to the site of a former store (RIP oracle) that had a big impact on both of our lives (waves to imajica) and shared stories of what first pointed our feet to its door. then, with tummies rumbling we stopped at the korean bistro ho su - nothing like the fire of kimchee - i could eat gallons of it!
speaking of love, the joys of healthy disfunction (and the ache of equally unhealthy disfunction) and sex we passed several lovely hours. after walking him back to his spadina home, i stopped off in china town and stocked my fridge. gotta love china town - where else could i pick up a giant bag full of blood red cherries, crisp green grapes, plump red and green peppers, asian eggplants, ginger and onions for less than $6.50.
now i'm sitting in front of a giant fan and watching the new show rock star : inxs. i lost my mind over inxs growing up (michael hutchence still has to remain one of the sexiest people to have ever walked this planet) and have many inxs-themed teenage memories with michelle, tammy, tony, lyle and scott (hello, where ever you all are!) there are a few toronto singers competing. one of whom i hope will stick around a bit - she used to front a band i liked named joydrop. this show could be pretty interesting - 15 singers having to live in a house together, egos ahoy... heehee.... i'd like to see the show with 15 guitarists living together - the cooler that thou vibe would probably end up in a cage match to the death.
damn - just read that inxs has just signed a deal with my old company... damn. i could of had cool inxs stories to go with my cool duran duran stories ("is the studio nice enough for duran duran to be in?")
[music | inxs, "need you tonight"]
we made the best of the soaring humidex by choosing to wander queen west and pop into places in order to take of their air conditioning and the occasional beer (i'm basically only a guinness gurl - but shanghai cowgirl had a lovely dark irony stout with an oh-so-delectable creamy head). we walked to the site of a former store (RIP oracle) that had a big impact on both of our lives (waves to imajica) and shared stories of what first pointed our feet to its door. then, with tummies rumbling we stopped at the korean bistro ho su - nothing like the fire of kimchee - i could eat gallons of it!
speaking of love, the joys of healthy disfunction (and the ache of equally unhealthy disfunction) and sex we passed several lovely hours. after walking him back to his spadina home, i stopped off in china town and stocked my fridge. gotta love china town - where else could i pick up a giant bag full of blood red cherries, crisp green grapes, plump red and green peppers, asian eggplants, ginger and onions for less than $6.50.
now i'm sitting in front of a giant fan and watching the new show rock star : inxs. i lost my mind over inxs growing up (michael hutchence still has to remain one of the sexiest people to have ever walked this planet) and have many inxs-themed teenage memories with michelle, tammy, tony, lyle and scott (hello, where ever you all are!) there are a few toronto singers competing. one of whom i hope will stick around a bit - she used to front a band i liked named joydrop. this show could be pretty interesting - 15 singers having to live in a house together, egos ahoy... heehee.... i'd like to see the show with 15 guitarists living together - the cooler that thou vibe would probably end up in a cage match to the death.
damn - just read that inxs has just signed a deal with my old company... damn. i could of had cool inxs stories to go with my cool duran duran stories ("is the studio nice enough for duran duran to be in?")
[music | inxs, "need you tonight"]
7.10.2005
of rubber chickens and cookie dough...
my roomie is off on a vacation to panama city... cross your fingers and toes that the hurricane season doesn't play havoc with her well deserved time off!
before she left, she turned me on to a faint lead for a potential contract gig. the contact is a friend of hers, someone she used to work with. it's funny. when i emailed him to see if he needed my resume and just to be in his face ("hi there! i'm great! hire me before i begin whoring myself out!") he sent back a note telling me he'd let me know what the company's plans were and to "make good use of the apartment while roomie is away".
what the? what could that mean? strange idle convo, no? anyway - i gave him some nice polite non-colourful response back (i don't really know the guy), but what i really wanted to write back was something along the lines of the following :
oh, yes, i have great and amazing plans for the apartment this week. thank you for asking.
monday is kitchen cricket (full scale tourney, bring your flamingos)
tuesday is rubber chicken and mazola orgy day (byorc, i'll supply the mazola)
wednesday is a little something i like to call battle of the bands (i have invited two local bands to come to my place for a rock-opera-rock-off. one band will be in my living room, the other in my roommate's bedroom. the prize? 30 minutes in the sauna - with the left over slightly oiled rubber chickens from the previous night's activities)
thursday is a night off. veronica mars is on. no one messes with my veronica mars night.
friday is an intimate gathering for fat abba friday - we will all make our fave cookie recipe and eat the dough raw while watching aussie movie, "muriel's wedding"
so - i'm filling up the guest cards now.... what would ya'll like to come over for? ;->
[music | the white stripes, "girl, you have no faith in medicine"]
before she left, she turned me on to a faint lead for a potential contract gig. the contact is a friend of hers, someone she used to work with. it's funny. when i emailed him to see if he needed my resume and just to be in his face ("hi there! i'm great! hire me before i begin whoring myself out!") he sent back a note telling me he'd let me know what the company's plans were and to "make good use of the apartment while roomie is away".
what the? what could that mean? strange idle convo, no? anyway - i gave him some nice polite non-colourful response back (i don't really know the guy), but what i really wanted to write back was something along the lines of the following :
oh, yes, i have great and amazing plans for the apartment this week. thank you for asking.
monday is kitchen cricket (full scale tourney, bring your flamingos)
tuesday is rubber chicken and mazola orgy day (byorc, i'll supply the mazola)
wednesday is a little something i like to call battle of the bands (i have invited two local bands to come to my place for a rock-opera-rock-off. one band will be in my living room, the other in my roommate's bedroom. the prize? 30 minutes in the sauna - with the left over slightly oiled rubber chickens from the previous night's activities)
thursday is a night off. veronica mars is on. no one messes with my veronica mars night.
friday is an intimate gathering for fat abba friday - we will all make our fave cookie recipe and eat the dough raw while watching aussie movie, "muriel's wedding"
so - i'm filling up the guest cards now.... what would ya'll like to come over for? ;->
[music | the white stripes, "girl, you have no faith in medicine"]
7.08.2005
even more sedna
i had intended to write the follow up our girl sedna yesterday - but with the news from london - i got a little sidetracked. so, now that the world seems a bit less insane, back to navel gazing.... sedna's myth archetype can be applied so many ways and can mean so much to so many people.
she can be a symbol of learned hope for humanity (if we only learn to treat each other better things will be alright and perhaps the cycle of terror will diminish).
she can be a symbol of ecology (the misdeeds of man falling into her ocean causing her take away valuable food source).
she can be a symbol of the cycle of abuse (a young girl treated poorly by her father with the subsequent physical/emotional isolation and rage at others).
the list literally goes on.
two visitors commenting on my version of the sedna story had different feelings toward the tale. my dear imajica heard it as a cry of desperation at being single. lovely newcomer johnny newt stood awed by the power of those arctic dwellers and their resilience to survive in the face cold and frozen nature. and there are others to whom sedna means something all together different. this is the magic of myth - the archetypes translate in so many ways. we can often recognize aspects of ourselves in these stories (or aspects we wish to draw upon and cultivate).
when i decided to tell sedna's story - it was because i have recognized a bit of her within me. that is to say i've been somewhat in recess from the world and in a lot of ways, unable to fully connect (i can't even meditate properly these days!). to some, these may sound like grim knocks on the hollow doors of sadness or loneliness - but they really aren't. this reservation and self-imposed isolation doesn't have even the faintest tinge of negativity, so far as i can tell.
these 'removed from the world' feelings could be for many reasons. i've been out of full-time work since december (and i'm used to being a nine to fiver). it could be the shift of season into summer. it could be that i'm getting used to setting my own schedule and by being more in control of my days, i'm getting more territorial over them. or it could be something else all together.
i feel the pressures of the world calling... a cousin's wedding in saskatchewan in august, my parents wanting me to visit alberta this summer, phone calls to return, emails to respond to, plans to be set to meet with friends and acquaintances, resume to brush up, contact to be made with my industry friends to start shaking the trees for work, on and on and on and on. we all have things to do - i'm not looking to garner pity for my situation - i don't need or want pity or empathy.
the oddness of the moment is simply that i am heeding a desire to have less and less to do with the world. i don't want to go to saskatchewan (who can blame me, really?), i'm not feeling the need to go to alberta (usually it's a good place to recharge from life - but hey, who am i kidding, i've been recharging for a while now & i feel good!), i think i'm scared to fix my resume and contact industry folk - it's so hard to look for work and so brutal to be constantly rejected by the working world - it's so easy to take it a a personal slam that the cool kids with paying jobs want nothing to do with you. (perhaps this is the kernel of avoidance).
the other day when i wrote i'd been thinking of sedna lately it was because i feel i identify with a certain aspect of her these days. isolation. the feeling of sitting silently and quietly on the floor of the world. all things continuing as they should above my head and around the edges of my awareness. i feel the role of the watchful observer - surrounded by life, but not part of it.
i know it is only a matter of time before i allow myself to play the shaman in this tale and will visit and wash away my detatched observations. the key is - i will allow it, or not. the whole feeling of choice and choosing to be passive or active. even though it is summer, i do feel passive. rather that let the welcomed heat from the sun energize me - i seem to be hoarding that engery. wearing it around my aching shoulders as a weight - instead of drinking the restoring tonic to lift me up and into full charge.
it is a wonderful ride and i'm happy for the seat. for someone who is normally in such control of her own crashing force, it's an odd sensation to feel the inability to harness that force.
experiencing experience is delicious and i am going to devour this tasty treat.
[music | david bowie, "ziggy stardust"]
7.07.2005
london
this morning as i surfaced from the world of dreams i stretched slowly and felt the energy shift of the radio alarm a moment before it turned itself on ("speed of sound" by coldplay, yech!). then the news began and the subtle delicious awareness of morning was over as the colours of day became very vivid indeed with the news of the terrorist bombings in london.
today, rather than comment on this violation (i'll leave that to those far more qualified), i want to send thoughts and hope to those suffering from these attacks today. i hope that anyone out there who knows people in london have been able to make contact with them and that they are safe.
brings back surreal memories of an autumn morning a few years ago....
[music | david bowie, "changes"]
today, rather than comment on this violation (i'll leave that to those far more qualified), i want to send thoughts and hope to those suffering from these attacks today. i hope that anyone out there who knows people in london have been able to make contact with them and that they are safe.
brings back surreal memories of an autumn morning a few years ago....
[music | david bowie, "changes"]
7.06.2005
sedna sits on the ocean floor
© Susan Bouletsedna is a young inuit girl who grows past the age considered acceptable to marry - though many men desire to marry her, she simply doesn't accept any offers her father brings to her. one day fisherman dressed in the finest of furs (this is the arctic we're talking here - fine furs means wealth and prosperity) comes to speak to sedna's father. he is seeking a wife and heard that sedna was still not spoken for. even though sedna did not wish for the match, her father sends her off to be with the fine gentleman.
the man has travelled a great distance and takes sedna back in a small boat to his island. upon reaching the island, the man takes off his furs and reveals himself to be a bird dressed as a man. the island has no home other than a pile of twigs and piles of rocks for pillows. sedna is furious at the situation and quickly grows tired of eating the raw fish that he provides for food.
after a time, sedna's father begins to feel badly about how he forced his daughter away and decides to pay the bride and groom a visit. when he reaches the barren island he is shocked when sedna tells him that her husband is a bird rather than a man. sedna begs her father to bring her back home while the birdman is off fishing.
into the kyack they go. paddling furiously sedna and her father head for the mainland. birdman sees the escape and calls his bird family to come forth to stop his wife from leaving. an epic battle takes place on the water; an army of birds flapped their wings resulting in tidal waves and the birdman swooping down at sedna and her father. the waves knock sedna overboard and her father fears that his daughter will capsize the kyack - despite her plea to be pulled in from the freezing water her father decides to save himself instead. with sedna grasping the side of the kyack her father cuts off each of her fingers with his hunting knife. her fingers fall into the cold water and begin to transform into creatures that become the first whales, dophins and seals.
broken-hearted and enraged and unable to hang on any longer sedna falls into the cold water. recognizing her as their mother, the new creatures guide sedna slowly to the ocean floor. sedna leaves her life as a mortal inuit girl and becomes the mother of the ocean ruling the creatures that dwell in the sea.
because she was treated so poorly by her father and her husband, sedna developed a keen sense of fairness and balance. according to the myth, all anger and sadness and the misdeeds of people are washed away by water where they fall to the ocean bottom where they tangle in sedna's hair. lacking fingers of her own, she is unable to comb clean her hair.
when her hair is tangled she rages at the folly of mankind and tells her children (the whales and the seals) to keep away from the hunters. when the poor fishing continues for sometime, the hunters send their most powerful shaman on a vision-quest to the ocean floor where he approaches the goddess and begins to untangle her hair and comb out the seaweed with his fingers. she is thankful that the shaman combs her hair and when he leaves she tells her children to allow themselves to be hunted once more.
[music | david usher, "surfacing"]
7.05.2005
songs for a (sort of) rainy day in july
2+2=5 : radiohead
worn me down : rachael yamagata
mourning air : portishead
one : aimee mann
dear heather : leonard cohen
joey : concrete blonde
surfacing : david usher
enjoy the silence : depeche mode
modern romance : yeah, yeah, yeahs
lucky man : the verve
going home : david usher
why : annie lennox
the preceding was brought to you by procrastination 101
worn me down : rachael yamagata
mourning air : portishead
one : aimee mann
dear heather : leonard cohen
joey : concrete blonde
surfacing : david usher
enjoy the silence : depeche mode
modern romance : yeah, yeah, yeahs
lucky man : the verve
going home : david usher
why : annie lennox
the preceding was brought to you by procrastination 101
i no longer need what i do not want....
my sun sign is taurus - and the cliff notes to traits for that sign basically say stubborn, methodical and materialistic.
i'll agree with stubborn (though i do feel that i have an open mind) and i do confess a certain penchant for doing things in a particular order and in a particular way. however, i think i'm getting over or moving past materialism.
why do i think that? well - for years (many many years!) i've been a packrat. i loved to keep things 'just in case' i ever needed them. silly things like pretty giftwrap, perfume boxes and old nailpolishes just because i loved their colours. (long ago i got rid of the perfume boxes, but i still do keep giftwrap and grotty old nailpolish bottles) i'm not saying i'm beginning a wholesale purge of my home and cherished items, i do love my pretty things and won't stop loving them, but i'm slowly seeing signs that i'm beginning to be able to let go.
this shock of recognition came over the past few days - i went through several boxes of cd's (we're talking upwards of 400 discs) that had not been unpacked for a couple of moves. i love music. love it so much. period. and previously, it was unheard of for me to leave my music trapped in a box and basically a struggle to get to (though the boxes had been opened and i had pulled discs from the depths). what odd feelings when this realization sunk in.
this past weekend, not only did i finally unpack the discs - but i also made a GIANT pile of discs to try to sell and discs to toss. shocking, i know. as i unpacked them and begain putting them away (alphabetically, of course... then again, they were alphabetical in the boxes too!) i started culling away the stuff i NEVER listened to. the telling note was when i came across discs that i didn't even want to load onto my ipod. i figured if i hadn't listened the the album in years and i had no interest in hearing even one song off of it now - that it should go. even though some of these albums i had listened to extensively in high school and university and beyond. some i did hang on to for sentimental reasons (just COULDN'T get rid of my corey hart cd's!) but some were purged with out mercy (goodbye tragically hip, good riddance bootsauce, au revoir matthew good).
also, while going through the boxes, i found things i hadn't listened to in ages (eurythmics, rasputina, portishead, oasis, garbage, sisters of mercy and the brilliant abbey road album). so basically this exercise has allowed me to realize that i need not hang onto the things that i no longer have a use for. i need to look at the objects that populate my life with fresh eyes. do i actually need or want these things - or do i only THINK i need them because of the person i was when i first obtained them.
heady stuff for a pre-coffee tuesday morning - but you know, it's good.
so once again, music has propelled a change in my life (it brought me to toronto, it brought me to writing, it brought me to amazing jobs, great experiences and it has also brought me deep sadness and loss of employment) but this time the change is brought on not by the pursuit, but by the considered rejection. the taurean need for material goods is losing out in this case.
i no longer need what i do not want.
[music | bauhaus, "lagartija nick"]
i'll agree with stubborn (though i do feel that i have an open mind) and i do confess a certain penchant for doing things in a particular order and in a particular way. however, i think i'm getting over or moving past materialism.
why do i think that? well - for years (many many years!) i've been a packrat. i loved to keep things 'just in case' i ever needed them. silly things like pretty giftwrap, perfume boxes and old nailpolishes just because i loved their colours. (long ago i got rid of the perfume boxes, but i still do keep giftwrap and grotty old nailpolish bottles) i'm not saying i'm beginning a wholesale purge of my home and cherished items, i do love my pretty things and won't stop loving them, but i'm slowly seeing signs that i'm beginning to be able to let go.
this shock of recognition came over the past few days - i went through several boxes of cd's (we're talking upwards of 400 discs) that had not been unpacked for a couple of moves. i love music. love it so much. period. and previously, it was unheard of for me to leave my music trapped in a box and basically a struggle to get to (though the boxes had been opened and i had pulled discs from the depths). what odd feelings when this realization sunk in.
this past weekend, not only did i finally unpack the discs - but i also made a GIANT pile of discs to try to sell and discs to toss. shocking, i know. as i unpacked them and begain putting them away (alphabetically, of course... then again, they were alphabetical in the boxes too!) i started culling away the stuff i NEVER listened to. the telling note was when i came across discs that i didn't even want to load onto my ipod. i figured if i hadn't listened the the album in years and i had no interest in hearing even one song off of it now - that it should go. even though some of these albums i had listened to extensively in high school and university and beyond. some i did hang on to for sentimental reasons (just COULDN'T get rid of my corey hart cd's!) but some were purged with out mercy (goodbye tragically hip, good riddance bootsauce, au revoir matthew good).
also, while going through the boxes, i found things i hadn't listened to in ages (eurythmics, rasputina, portishead, oasis, garbage, sisters of mercy and the brilliant abbey road album). so basically this exercise has allowed me to realize that i need not hang onto the things that i no longer have a use for. i need to look at the objects that populate my life with fresh eyes. do i actually need or want these things - or do i only THINK i need them because of the person i was when i first obtained them.
heady stuff for a pre-coffee tuesday morning - but you know, it's good.
so once again, music has propelled a change in my life (it brought me to toronto, it brought me to writing, it brought me to amazing jobs, great experiences and it has also brought me deep sadness and loss of employment) but this time the change is brought on not by the pursuit, but by the considered rejection. the taurean need for material goods is losing out in this case.
i no longer need what i do not want.
[music | bauhaus, "lagartija nick"]
7.04.2005
live8 post mortem
i really wasn't going to write anything more about live8 - but i have decided to have one final post on these shows.... and i will try to refrain from ranting about how unentertaining the canadian show was.
here comes the final rant - well, maybe : barrie, step right up onto the world stage. take your rightful place with pride along side paris, london, rome, berlin, tokyo, moscow and philadelphia. yeah - it's time the world got to know how mighty and influential barrie is! step right up and show the world gray and withered men standing on soapboxes, strangling harmonicas and lulling us all into a nice long slumber. the people of barrie and random hosers in attendance can be excused for all seeming just as excited as they would be at a trade-show conference showing new fishing tackle for the year. oh, sorry. my bad - that might of gotten a bit more of a rise out of the crowd.
ok - enough bitter and jaded frothy ramblings about the canadian version of live8. we all knew it wasn't going to be great, or even good. it will soon be forgotten (as it should) and we will all remember the amazing performances coming to the world out of hyde park in london. all day saturday i sat on the sofa and watched live8 feeds. first i watched on ctv, where before the local coverage started - i was treated to london and berlin - but mostly london. because let's face it - that's the show that geldof was really involved with & that's the show that had the real emotion and honesty. then after we stared seeing tom cochrane and bryan adams and co. my roommate discovered the live streaming feeds on aol.com.
that's right. live feeds from all of the participating cities. on demand. switching from one city to another. once again, i marvel at the power and scope of the internet. seriously - WHAT did we do before the internet? i'm 34 and i really don't know how i got through university without the internet.
so - through the computer - i got to see the performances live(ish) in london. got to see the crowd having an amazingly fun time (in stark contrast to the canadian crowd who couldn't even get excited about sam roberts). the brits seemed like they KNEW they were there to try to bring the focus of the g8 leaders to them. they seemed like they KNEW that even though the musicians were on the stage - that the real stars of the show were the crowd - that their enthusiasm and excitement and energy will help to propel this cry for change straight from the stadiums of the world into the ears of the politicians.
and the performances in london. from the expected amazing u2 (with an incredible sgt. peppers with bono & sir paul), to sincere and earnest band the killers, to mindblowing pink floyd, to a deliciously spine-chilling version of 'bittersweet symphony' with boring coldplay and scary richard ashcroft, to beautiful annie lennox, to political punchy sting, to goodtime boy robbie williams, to a patented show closing set by sir paul.
there were misses too. rest assured. basically whenever an artist attempted to gather crocodile tears by seeming to 'use' african children (hello mariah, and you too madonna). madonna was actually a real disappointment. she came on stage after bob geldof brought a young african woman out to the crowd - this young woman was one of the ones who survived the famine in ethiopia 25 years ago (possibly as a result of the original live aid concerts). there were some uncomfortable sensationalistic elements to geldof's gesture - but he is so sincere about what he does, one feels dirty charging him with emotional manipulation. however, one does not feel dirty about charging madonna with the same offense. what was she thinking? she started dragging this young woman around the stage like a prop. it was very uncomfortable and shameful.
other unnecessary performances were snoop dogg (actually urging the live8 crowd to 'wave your arms in the air, like you just don't care') and velvet revolver (no comment, other than scott weiland sadly really looks like he could also personally benefit from the end of poverty).
today i'm not going to talk about the reason these shows took place. by now, i hope, we all know why. and in a few days time the men who lead the most prosperous nations in the world will meet to talk about forgiving debt to african nations and to talk canada and the us into upping their foreign aid contributions to the 0.7% suggested by our own lester b. pearson 30 years ago. woefully, canada is no where near this amount, infact, with the exception of the united states, every other g8 nation is pulling their weight. why aren't we?
in the meantime - go here to see the shows in their entirety and go here to read a brilliantly british review of the london live 8 show.
[music | david bowie, "i'm afraid of americans"]
here comes the final rant - well, maybe : barrie, step right up onto the world stage. take your rightful place with pride along side paris, london, rome, berlin, tokyo, moscow and philadelphia. yeah - it's time the world got to know how mighty and influential barrie is! step right up and show the world gray and withered men standing on soapboxes, strangling harmonicas and lulling us all into a nice long slumber. the people of barrie and random hosers in attendance can be excused for all seeming just as excited as they would be at a trade-show conference showing new fishing tackle for the year. oh, sorry. my bad - that might of gotten a bit more of a rise out of the crowd.
ok - enough bitter and jaded frothy ramblings about the canadian version of live8. we all knew it wasn't going to be great, or even good. it will soon be forgotten (as it should) and we will all remember the amazing performances coming to the world out of hyde park in london. all day saturday i sat on the sofa and watched live8 feeds. first i watched on ctv, where before the local coverage started - i was treated to london and berlin - but mostly london. because let's face it - that's the show that geldof was really involved with & that's the show that had the real emotion and honesty. then after we stared seeing tom cochrane and bryan adams and co. my roommate discovered the live streaming feeds on aol.com.
that's right. live feeds from all of the participating cities. on demand. switching from one city to another. once again, i marvel at the power and scope of the internet. seriously - WHAT did we do before the internet? i'm 34 and i really don't know how i got through university without the internet.
so - through the computer - i got to see the performances live(ish) in london. got to see the crowd having an amazingly fun time (in stark contrast to the canadian crowd who couldn't even get excited about sam roberts). the brits seemed like they KNEW they were there to try to bring the focus of the g8 leaders to them. they seemed like they KNEW that even though the musicians were on the stage - that the real stars of the show were the crowd - that their enthusiasm and excitement and energy will help to propel this cry for change straight from the stadiums of the world into the ears of the politicians.
and the performances in london. from the expected amazing u2 (with an incredible sgt. peppers with bono & sir paul), to sincere and earnest band the killers, to mindblowing pink floyd, to a deliciously spine-chilling version of 'bittersweet symphony' with boring coldplay and scary richard ashcroft, to beautiful annie lennox, to political punchy sting, to goodtime boy robbie williams, to a patented show closing set by sir paul.
there were misses too. rest assured. basically whenever an artist attempted to gather crocodile tears by seeming to 'use' african children (hello mariah, and you too madonna). madonna was actually a real disappointment. she came on stage after bob geldof brought a young african woman out to the crowd - this young woman was one of the ones who survived the famine in ethiopia 25 years ago (possibly as a result of the original live aid concerts). there were some uncomfortable sensationalistic elements to geldof's gesture - but he is so sincere about what he does, one feels dirty charging him with emotional manipulation. however, one does not feel dirty about charging madonna with the same offense. what was she thinking? she started dragging this young woman around the stage like a prop. it was very uncomfortable and shameful.
other unnecessary performances were snoop dogg (actually urging the live8 crowd to 'wave your arms in the air, like you just don't care') and velvet revolver (no comment, other than scott weiland sadly really looks like he could also personally benefit from the end of poverty).
today i'm not going to talk about the reason these shows took place. by now, i hope, we all know why. and in a few days time the men who lead the most prosperous nations in the world will meet to talk about forgiving debt to african nations and to talk canada and the us into upping their foreign aid contributions to the 0.7% suggested by our own lester b. pearson 30 years ago. woefully, canada is no where near this amount, infact, with the exception of the united states, every other g8 nation is pulling their weight. why aren't we?
in the meantime - go here to see the shows in their entirety and go here to read a brilliantly british review of the london live 8 show.
[music | david bowie, "i'm afraid of americans"]
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