things that freak me out

i'm not a flakey freak-out pre-disposed sorta gurl. i'm a taurus - i'm an earth sign & pretty unshakable (i think, anyway), BUT there are a number of phenonena that really creep me out and i have an admitted and severe illogical response to them.

conjoined twins (formerly known as siamese twins)

spontaneous human combustion - actually, it's more just pictures of burn victims

ants on the honey jar in my cupboard

i mean, when my dad needed stitches because he nearly severed his thumb, i was in the room with him as the doctor stuck a giant pointy piece of surgical steel through his skin again and again... no worries. i can get catch bugs in jars to let them free outside. i can and have dealt with a number of situations on the farm i grew up on that would probably make others sick (one example, i watched/helped a barn cat give birth to a very large and stillborn kitten). ok - i'll move on. good times...

for some reason those things above really get me... ok, the ants thing is just gross & it's only on the list because it happened to me today! ewwww! my kitchen has a rash of ant activity (thank the gods it's only ants) and i innocently opened the cupboard to get some honey for my tea when i was confronted with a rockin' party on the jar - except it was one i didn't want to be invited to. ick. i took the jar of honey (stuff i brought back from portugal - but am now experiencing severe adversion to) and put it in the sink and washed the little buggers away.... ew! and then boiled water and placed the jar in boiling water in an attempt to sterilize it.... double ick!

and as far as the whole burn victim thing goes... well - i think it goes back to a past life thing... it's too vicseral of a response. i feel as though i'm going to be ill. i remember as a child that i used to just absolutley HAVE to sleep with the closet door closed (no matter how many toys, clothes, books, boxes were piled in it). why did the door need to be closed? well, 'cause i used to have nightmares of bonfires in the closet. great huge consuming leaping flames. burn the witch, anyone? i also had a recurring dream of one of my aunts coming to set fire to our house. and of course it was to the corner of the house by my bedroom. and no - this was no aunt trauma like above - i really liked this aunt! and finally as a wee gurl of about 8, i saw a tv show about fire safety and in it they showed grotesque pictures of people who survived fires. i still remember a picture of someone's arm. they were holding it out at a 90 degree angle from their body & the forearm was so swollen and large - it looked like a sick parody of the popeye cartoon.... *shudder* and the spontaneous human combusion thing is just cool. frightening as fucking hell - but cool. as long as it doesn't happen to me!

and then the number one on my hit parade of disgusting things - conjoined twins. i don't even want to type about it, truth be told. so i won't.

[music | tori amos, "mother revolution"]