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i am reading alex garland's most recent work. the coma. it made me cry on the subway on my way home this afternoon. or maybe it was because the job that i was considered the "best candidate" for went to another person out of work place loyalty.

when will i not be "the outsider"? i thought all that gets sorted out after you leave highschool. guess not.

what's the passage that had me fighting back sobs?

"Long grass and black windows. A bit of rope hanging from a tree that once held the swing, whose wooden board had rotted away. A front path, where moss grew over broken concrete and dandelions pushed through the cracks."

i think i need to read cheerier material. and i probably need to be listening to cheerier music than depeche mode's mid-80's singles. it is a question of trust, indeed.

[music | depeche mode, "strangelove"]