10.16.2005

star searching

growing up i continually found myself drawn to things a bit mysterious, arcane and occulty. things that didn't really make a lot of sense on the surface or analytically - but when you peeked beneath that sharp surface there was a whole other universe living and breathing and sparkling. and it called to me from the earliest age.

as a toddler, i really remember bits and pieces of a past-life experience - and it was a life where i was surrounded by horses. a life where i was so intimately involved with horses that for years i would pretend i was a horse. my early drawings weren't of stick people - but of stick horses... if you ask my mom, she'll agree and she probably has some to pull out to show you. the very first articulated word i ever said was 'horse'. disappointing both my mom and dad - they both were hoping i'd say mumma or dadda first. haha. not me! right from the get go, i was pulling myself in a different direction.

one of the most accepted of the 'other' arts is astrology. whether people laugh and think it's a funny game or whether people pay hundreds of dollars to have their charts cast or whether they read their daily or weekly horoscopes in newspapers, magazines or websites - most people are aware of astrology and most people can tell you their sign.

i am a taurus. strong, stubborn and determined. loyal to a fault, but beware the fool that dares cross a bull... you may be eventually forgiven - but you will forever have a little caution flag by your name. bulls are loyal, honest and fair - and are very hurt when we come across folks who are not.

recently i found a site that gives you a quite detailed description of your natal chart (all you need to do is punch in your date, time and location of birth) with all of the corresponding planetary influences. what fun! here's a little cut and pasting from mine. my comments are in green.

Sun in Taurus (The sun represents vitality, a sense of individuality and outward-shining creative energy)
She is strong-willed and conceited. She has charm, and is tolerant and stoical. She likes pleasure and the good things of Life. Appreciates the Arts.
Sun in conjunction with Mercury indicates that she is intelligent and knows what she wants. Is a good organizer, she likes moving, travel. She likes literature.
Weaknesses: obstinacy, laziness. She is too materialistic, and is a snob. She is greedy and proud.
conceited? ouch! how does that fall into the good points section! lol. and if that doesn't get you - how about the fact that i'm greedy! i can be lazy at times.... this i know well. and i do love to travel, to organize and to read.

Moon in Pisces (The moon represents a reaction, unconscious pre-destination, and the self-image)
Imaginative, sharp insights. She is impressionable, with an abundant imagination. Multiple births. (my mom's father was an identical twin - the family had heard that twins travelled from the father to the daughter's female children. of the 4 potential daughters, only one has had kids so far (my sister) no twins yet. suppose they're waiting for me!)
Weaknesses: troubles caused by too much sentimentality, worries, problems, unhealthy imagination.
She has a tendency to bad dreams. Is interested in the occult. (i am the nightmare queen and i am indeed interested in the occult)

Mercury in Aries (Mercury represents communication and logical spirit)
She argues, disputes, discusses, answers back. Lively mind which quickly understands a given situation. She is very resourceful and capable. (all skills which were honed to a fine point while growing up debating politics and ideologies with my very intelligent and forceful right-wing conservative father)
Weaknesses: she is impetuous, hot-headed, petulant. Impatient and hasty, which causes problems due to lack of foresight before acting. (i actually don't see any of these points in myself. i can be impatient, but am trying to cultivate more serenity!)
Her thirst for knowledge is never satisfied. She is full of mental activity. She undertakes exhaustive studies, always studying for pleasure. Likes journeys to faraway places, and can go to live abroad. (so true.... i am a little research nerd. the more depth with which i understand a topic, the better i feel about it. and nearly everytime i travel i end up thinking that i'd love to live there)

Venus in Pisces (Venus represents an interest for emotions and values, exchange and sharing with others)
Very sentimental. She is easily moved. She is melancholic, romantic. When she loves, it is the most generous of loves.
Weaknesses: risky and confused loves, insane hopes. (gotta love seeing the word insane in there)
Not frightened by the unknown, death. She has a peaceful and happy end. Natural and late death. Possible inheritance. (possible inheritance - does that mean i leave one, or i get one?)
She is good-hearted, generous and has a good character. She likes well-being, comfort, a life without problems. She has good relations with her circle. She is easy to approach.
Her professional life is unstable. She has a taste for the Arts, is a dreamer, is easily influenced and romantic. She is emotional and very sensitive. (professional life unstable - how true that is. i seem to have a knack for picking places that go under or merge or just end up being a hell hole for some other reason. sigh. i just want a job i can go to an feel good about myself. sigh.)

Mars in Capricorn (Mars represents the desire for action and physical energy)
She is very firm, controls herself, observes and is very watchful. She has a great sense of responsibility.
Spontaneous nature. She takes professional risks. A great worker, she likes everything that can be done quickly, and detests things that hang around for a long time. It is the same for her emotional life: no candy-floss or fine speeches, she gets directly to the point.
She is ambitious, has a great capacity for work, has self-confidence and goes to the end of her plans. (there were a lot of negatives here too... i cut them out! i guess that's part of the conceit and excessive self-confidence. however i do take professional risks. i never really thought i was a risk-taker, but it turns out i am. i have made some very hard decisions and forced change on myself. putting me in sink or swim situations twice in my life. both times, i swam and learned a lot about myself. yey me.)

Jupiter in Sagittarius (Jupiter represents expansion and grace)
She is agreeable, seductive, engaging and generous.
She likes and believes in justice. She is an optimist and is generous. Professional success is rapid and helped by the family. Family life is very important for her. She likes comfort, well-being at home. She knows how to entertain in style and above all with pleasure. She is very generous and altruistic, helping people in difficulty or sick people. She knows how to listen or, at least, how to give that impression. She is a dreamer, with lots of imagination: she likes the Arts.
(i like how this makes me sound like the life of the party and the soul of any social gathering... haha. i think i agree with some of this. i love people to enjoy the food i cook and i really do think that people do enjoy coming to my home for meals. we light candles, have a nice red and over-indulge on yummy foods.)

Saturn in Taurus (Saturn represents contraction and effort)
Slow but persistent in action. Perseverance of effort, assiduity, in a regular and set manner.
Weaknesses: she perseveres, insisting on her way but is intransigent. Not very expansive.
She is serious, methodical, persevering. She perseveres, achieves her projects through hard work. (all work and no play makes jodi a dull gurl. wow. i feel sapped of energy and life and fun by just reading this.)

Uranus in Libra (Uranus represents individual liberty, egoistic liberty)
Well-developed artistic leanings. Her balance can be upset by too great an independence. (these two statements are me in a nutshell. i am very very independent - i tend to do things on my own and it inevitably ends up being the harder way of doing things. and arts... i'm not a creator of the arts - but i am one who loves to serve the arts.)
She has a lot of flair. She must have an out-of-the-ordinary job, in which case all goes well: otherwise, she will often change jobs and will have financial problems. (sigh, so true. i am very particular about my job and my career. and as a result, i do have financial problems.)

Neptune in Sagittarius (Neptune represents transcendental liberty, non-egoistic liberty)
Likes long voyages, things foreign, water. (yes, yes and yes)
She succeeds thanks to brilliant and unusual ideas. She is very much influenced by her mother. (i am very influenced by my mother in the fact that i am very concious that i have not picked her life - that is a huge influence on me. she is a kind hearted person with a lot to give, but she did not chose a life that makes her completely happy)

a general round up of the planets and the houses in my chart :

Will not earn a lot of money through work. (i have come to accept that)
She looks for refined unproblematic people, with whom to have long discussions, without raised voices of any kind. (i actively seek to REMOVE drama from my life. takes too much energy that i'm just not willing to give. i had a lot of drama in my childhood and now i will walk away from those who try to give it to me now. not open for drama.)
Family rows will be frequent. Might receive an inheritance. (haha, what did i just write above this... :) and inheritance again... hmmm... my 3 remaining grandparents recently passed over and i did not recieve an inheritance. if i'm to get one from my parents - let it not be for many many many years.)
Discussions about an inheritance. Be careful of water. (again with the inheritance. shudder.)
Likes meeting, ceaselessly discussing with well-informed people, full of ideas. (sounds like a dream evening for me. probably one in which i've made the food and lit the candles)
A few problems with authority or someone in charge. (haha! yes, indeed. if the person in charge is smart and fair, no problems. if they seem dull or weak or makes dumb decisions, i have problems with them.)

i realized this has been an epic post. and really probably not interesting to anyone but myself. however, i'd recommend this site to anyone who has even a passing interest in astrology.

[music | depeche mode, "waiting for the night"]

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